The Principle of the 2nd Man

How does a person gain a following? Though not worded exactly this way, everyone has wondered about this question for themselves. Perhaps you do not want to have "followers" as if you were starting a religious movement (good, don't do that), but all of us have thought at one point or another on how to get people to do things with us. If you have wanted to start a volleyball group, get people together for board games, create a camping trip with others, arrange a movie night, or any number of "group" activities then you've thought on the question of how to get people to want to come along.

Principally, you have to appeal to others with the type of event you're putting on, which is spoken about in The Three Tenants of a Good Introductory Event article. But, let's say you already have a good event, what will make the people want to come along? In our community this is what we call the Principle of the 2nd Man. There have been many studies gauging people's interest in events, but one in particular was very insightful and will be summarized here. In short, the study monitored the interest of people in regards to activities done by others. When a single person was doing something that was fun or desirable, many of those in the study expressed reluctance to participate in the activity. But, when they saw another person join the first the participants then became more willing to join, communicating that the activity now seemed more appealing since another person showed interest.

An example of the Principle of the 2nd Man in action is a video from several years back that became very popular for a brief time. At a music festival a band was playing music and the lawn was filled with people. Everyone was sitting on the lawn enjoying the songs, sitting still, except for one man. During one of the songs a man runs into an open area of the field and starts dancing in a very goofy, playful manner. As he is dancing alone for a while he's ignored at first, then once he's been there for a while a few people record him in his fun dance. He dances alone for a few minutes, dedicated to his fun. Then a lone man decides to join him dancing on the green. The two dance alongside each other for less than a minute, then another man joins the two. In about as much time as it took the third man to join, more join the group, then more, and more. In the space of three minutes it goes from one person dancing alone to over a hundred people dancing together.

Now, what is the lesson to take from the story of the lone dancing man? He was bold in trying to lead others in dancing at the festival. But, he was alone for a while. Then one person decides to join him, and that in a way "gave permission" to everyone else to join in on the fun as well. After the 2nd Man of this story joined in he helped create a movement.

Of course this was not nation-changing, this was just dancing at a music festival, but see my point. Leaders are important - it is because of them that things are started, that nations are built, that movements take place. Leaders are important, and we need to know how to be good leaders, but a leader is nothing without people to follow him.

Now, what is the purpose of telling you all of this? In our community when we speak about the Principle of the 2nd Man it is to emphasize two things: that you should find your own 2nd Man, and that you should be a 2nd Man for others. Make a friend, and have him do these events with you, and go to the events that your friend does. To make events happen, to make them appeal to others, to build a community of people, you need to have a friend and be a friend to promote the events by your participation.

Article written for the VME Catholic Society, by Ethan Hall